He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
