So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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