some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
