Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
high people should be assigned attendants
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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