I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
