we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
