I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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