I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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