Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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