We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
