No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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