to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
