No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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