I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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