I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
