Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
