we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
