when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
