Me too!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize