We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
