Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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