508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
