all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
