It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I need water and some morals
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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