i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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