Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
