We got so high we made milksteak
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize