I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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