That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I'm having to shit out rocks
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