you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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