The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
