problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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