if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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