How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my being single is dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize