love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
