Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
