Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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