hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
