I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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