just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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