I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
