I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
