Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
