brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
