I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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