I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
