I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
