also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
