just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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