I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize