Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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