well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize