you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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