Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize