She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
