If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
