Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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