I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
