handjob tips. give me some.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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