You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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