my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
