They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
