Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
